Poem: What I Deserve

It seems like every day is changing,
into things that make no sense.
Shame and guilt keep sinking.
As my body fades.

Decomposed matter is the only thing I could hope to be.
To get eaten away by rats and worms, my true only friends.
If I were you I would hate me too, you see.
I just want to cease to exist.

Dirt is a fair price,
feces my dearest friend.
Nothing more can I long for.
Nothing more I deserve.

Inside I hold the madness.
Inside I live alone.
Stay away, I am worthless.
Don’t let this dirt stain your clothes.

Every day I search for the formula
that would make my nonexistence clear.
Of being filth I’m not worthy.
I deserve to disappear

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